Over the Rainbow
by Jersey Wolf
Summary: Semi-AU, Pre-Movie. Tom's having a rough day and calls the one person he calls a friend. Of course, with Tom nothing's always as under control as he'd like to believe. Writing phonetically is fun. Introducing an OC, hope you like him. R&R


**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Thought I should clarify a few things before going on with this thing. Sebs is a character created by Faintly Falling (you should go check out her stuff) and myself, and he's Tom's one friend in New York City. He's a lawyer, and an interesting sort of guy. Also, gave Tom a last name. It's "McKnight" because "Thomas McKnight" has an awesome ring to it. That's all you really need to know for this to make any sense. Enjoy or not. It's really not up to me is it?

Sebs sat at his desk and drummed his fingers absently on the wood. Well, he believed it to be wood anyway. It wasn't one of those cheap desks made out of "wood" or whatever it was made of…particulate perhaps? No, this was a really nice desk, and Sebs could not figure out why on Earth he was giving such a damn about a desk he sat at practically every day. No, scratch that, he knew exactly why. It was just one of those days. A painfully slow day that he believed could have been improved by…well, anything at this point. More paperwork (a shocking confession indeed), an argument, rabid dogs, aliens attacking the city…anything.

He glanced over at the clock on the wall, his bored mind taking a few moments to remember how to read something that wasn't digital. 1:04 PM. What an odd time. It was a time that meant he'd been sitting in the same spot for hours already, but at the same time meant that there were still hours left to tick away before he could even think of going home. _Fantastic_. Surely there had to be something for him to do. There had to be one miserable scrap of paper that had to be filled out. Sebs began digging around his office, enjoying the fact that he was on his feet and not his ass anymore. It had actually begun to hurt a little. However, he didn't get much digging done when the phone began to ring. He seemed half stunned by the sound and stared at the phone momentarily before picking it up. It was a welcome distraction.

"Hello," he said into the receiver, voice even and business-like as it often was. In his rush for something to do he hadn't thought to check the caller I.D. and he assumed that a relatively neutral tone would be the best for whoever was on the other end, be it an executive or someone below him. Friend or foe. He assumed briefly that he was being contacted by some executive and straightened up even if there was no one there to see him and critique his form. If his mother had been there he was sure she would have. _Who taught you to stand like that? I certainly didn't._ The executive assumption on Sebs' part was quickly proved wrong by the familiar voice on the other side of the conversation.

"Jeez, Sebs…what's with the formal talk? You think I'm some well-to-do businessman now or somethin'? I suddenly became successful since yesterday?" Sebs felt his brow crease in annoyance as Tom's voice greeted him with a slightly offended tone. His friend's voice seemed strained and breathy, perhaps a bit high-pitched, but most definitely distant. Sebs thought nothing of it. Tom's voice had a habit of shifting in peculiar ways when he was feeling, and Tom did a lot of feeling. There was no reason for him to be suspect of anything.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Sebs asked in an almost parenting, certainly patronizing, way despite the fact that he was happy for the call. He could almost see the indignation on his friend's face, and he smiled. He knew that Tom's job required the man to adopt a rather unusual sleep schedule, and him being up at the current hour was probably not in his best interest, but still it was good to hear from him.

"That's uh…actually why I called," Tom replied, the distance in his tone remaining but with a sudden level of seriousness and a unique cadence Sebs was not familiar with. It made him uncomfortable and anxious as he listened to it come from Tom on the other end. When Tom was serious he was deadly serious. Sebs started to ask, but Tom cut him off with an awkward sounding clearing of his throat. "I couldn't sleep. Don't think I didn't try. I know you'll think I didn't try. Really I did, but I just couldn't."

"Please get to the point, Tom. I'm very busy."

"No, you're not," Tom retorted with sudden malice. It caught Sebs off guard, and the strain in his friend's voice only became all the more apparent. "If you really were busy you wouldn't have answered your phone. You answered. You're not busy." Tom's voice sounded close to cracking and brimming with frustration while somehow still retaining a note of rationality, the most terrifying part of all. Sebs felt bad for having interrupted him. "God…Sebs…would you just listen? My head is spinning, and you're not helping." _Head spinning?_ What was this all about? As if able to read his mind through the phone, Tom continued. "I couldn't sleep so I took some pills I had. You know, the kind that's supposed to help you sleep and all. Thought they'd… you know, calm me down, but I couldn't feel them working. I was still wired. Well, I took some more…maybe more after that too. Now my head's spinning, and I don't feel so hot…" Sebs listened to all this in shocked silence, his brain unable to come up with some sort of response to what he was hearing. "Ah, sorry…I'm sorry. Sebs, I…I don't know what I called you for. This is stupid…I'm stupid. Sorry." There was the click of a phone on the other end hanging up, but Sebs only felt his fingers grip the phone tighter. _What the hell was that all about? Pills? God, Tom…what are you into now?_

"Tom? Shit…Tom?" he spoke into the silence, feeling panic invade his mind. He knew his friend could not hear him, but he still stood there with the phone to his ear as if by some magic there would be a sudden response. "Christ…" he said though this time to himself. Protectiveness mounted up deep in his gut and would not leave him even as his slowly put the phone down. His fingers hurt from gripping it, and he rubbed them as he thought. Whether or not Tom's rambling had been serious he didn't know, but either way he hadn't liked it. Something was up on planet Tom, and he'd be damned if he didn't at least investigate. Just to be safe.

Without a second thought Sebs grabbed his coat and was out of the office before anyone had the time to ask him where the hell he thought he was going. Even if anyone noticed him go no one probably would have said anything. Sebs had a way of making it look like whatever it was he was doing was of grave importance, and for all he knew the current situation way very grave indeed.

The time between leaving the office and running up the stairs to Tom's apartment were a blurry mess of worry, and Sebs couldn't even remember the details himself if he tried, and he didn't even really want to. Tom's door was unlocked, _Thank God_, and Sebs let himself in bracing for the shocking scene he was certain he was about to witness. However, what he found was, quite frankly, disappointing. Tom was there on his couch, eyes staring up at the ceiling, body resting on the couch in its usual fashion, a brief glance in Sebs' direction the only indicator that the man had even taken notice of his friend's intrusion of his home. Rocky was whimpering softly at one end of the couch, his brown eyes watching his owner intently. Even he knew something was wrong, and Sebs felt his stomach drop.

"Hey, Tom," Sebs said in a simple greeting to the man whose body language was giving no clue as to what he was thinking. Tom turned his head to Sebs and gave him a curious look.

"Sebs? What're y'doin' here?" he asked, his words running together slightly. Sebs winced at the sound of it, but Tom didn't seem to notice.

"You called me, remember?"

"Nah, I don'…" Tom wrinkled his nose as if trying to think was the most difficult thing in the world and looked away. Sebs sighed, but not out of relief so much as frustration. This wasn't going to be easy. Walking closer to the couch to get a better look, Sebs couldn't really see too much wrong except that Tom was looking a bit pale…well, paler than usual, and his eyes didn't have their usual unsettling keenness. He might have been trembling a little, but Sebs could tell whether or not he really was or if his eyes were playing tricks on him.

"Tom," Sebs began. Tom didn't so much as flinch. "Tom, look at me. Focus. Come on. Just do this for me." This time the man on the couch turned his head and seemed to mumble something. "What was that?"

"When'd you get here?"

"What?"

"I said…when'd you get here?" Tom repeated, giving Sebs a curious look as if he was the reasonable one in the situation. The other man's eyes stared into his friend's, but there was hardly even a flicker of recognition. Quickly Sebs began to search through things he'd learned in health class and what Tom had told him earlier.

"Look, Tom...you need to help me out here. What'd you take?"

"I asked you a question," Tom snorted sounding something like self-righteous. "Jesus, manners...ya gots no manners."

"The hell I have no manners. Tom, please, what'd you take?" Sebs replied sounding more unnerved than he'd wanted to. Tom's expression remained unchanged, but Sebs doubted that the wheels in his head had stopped turning. "Tom…say something."

"You're awfully loud. Anyone'er tell ya that?" Tom laughed, his words becoming mashed up again. Sebs stared for a moment or two before something seeming like sentience reappeared in Tom's expression. "I don' remember…Sebs…I'm dizzy…" The helpless tone Tom's voice suddenly took on stripped all the anger from the man who watched him with a worried expression. It didn't help that Tom's eyes went wide; he looked lost as if someone had dumped him in the middle of nowhere without a map or supplies. "I thought…I though'…thought I could make m'self feel better…Sebs…I'm really dizzy…"

"You stupid bastard," Sebs said under his breath so as to convince himself that his voice wasn't coming close to cracking. _Fuck…_he looked so damn pathetic. Lying there, face somewhere in between passive and completely terrified. "Look, just pull it together for a few minutes. Tell me something. What'd you do?"

Tom became thoughtful for a moment, or at least faked it really well, and then turned his head away from Sebs and mumbled something into the material of the couch.

"What?"

"The fucking bathroom, Sebs. Christ…d'I hafta spell'everythin' out f'you now…?" Tom snapped with a growl as his words became almost inseparable from each other, turning his face back to his friend, but this wasn't the usual growl that Tom got in his voice. It was muffled as if he were speaking into a pillow and not the open air. "If I took anything…it's in the bathroom," Tom clarified, composure returning suddenly, but sentence cut up with awkward pauses for breath. Sebs started to leave, but a light tug on his pant leg caused him to pause. He looked back and saw that Tom was making some sort of odd attempt to slow him down. "Wait…I changed m'mind…dun' go in there…I barfed an' ya prob'bly dun' wanna see that…fuck, the room is spinning. Tell it to stop…I don' like this ride…"

"I don't care. Look, just…stay awake for a few more minutes. Can you do that?" Tom nodded dumbly, opening his mouth for a moment or two as if he were going to speak, but no noise came out. His chest moved awkwardly, unevenly, and Sebs stared at it for a second before realizing it was Tom's breathing. He felt his jaw clench, but turned and went down the hall to the bathroom.

The smell hit him before he even opened the door. It smelled like sickness, and Sebs felt his stomach tighten briefly. He sucked it up and entered the room. The toilet lid was down, but he could imagine all too well what it contained. _Tom's insides taking a day trip to the outside world._ Sebs kicked himself internally for the thought and turned his eyes to the sink. He winced when his eyes were greeted with some of Tom's insides in the sink. He did his best to ignore it and grabbed the bottle of pills that rested on the edge. Sleeping pills of a brand Sebs couldn't place with pills that rattled in the bottle indicating just how much space was now empty. _I hope for your sake this wasn't full earlier._

"Sebs…what're y'doin' in there? I'm so…I don' remember…" Sebs shut out Tom's noise. That's all it was now. Noise. Sebs came back into the living room and stuck the bottle out in front of him and in Tom's face. Tom went crossed eyed for a moment before adjusting. God, he still looked so absent. "Wha…" he said, drawing out the soft sound until it died along with his breath. He took a breath and looked up at the man before him looking almost offended.

"How many did you take?"

"Guess," Tom replied, suddenly giddy. Had this not been a serious situation Sebs would have wanted to smack him.

"I'm being serious."

"So am I…"

Sebs furrowed his brow as he realized how futile his efforts to get anything out of Tom at this point. He sighed and tried to remember what he'd been taught to do in situations such as this. High school health class finally serving some legitimate purpose. "Tom," he said calmly. "Want to do me a big favor?"

"Ye'sure…ye'sure…" Tom nodded, his uneven breathing becoming more obvious. He perked up as if becoming alert, but the cloud of obliviousness still hung low on his person.

"Stand up for me."

Tom's face contorted as if in pain. "M'legs are noodles…can't stand'on'oodles…I…I thought y'were the smart one…maybe my legs are jell-o…jell-o noodles. Green…Sebs, is that lime or green apple flavor? I c'never remember."

"Pay attention," Sebs said firmly.

"Make me."

"Look, if you're not going to stand, wiggle your toes."

"Noodles don' 'ave toes. What're ya? Stupid? This's stupid…an' I'm tired. G'night…"

"Shit, Tom, don't do that. Tom, open your eyes. Tom look at me," Sebs blurted out with sudden panic. If there was one thing he knew not to let happen it was allowing Tom to fall asleep.

"I'know m'name. Besides…who els'are ya talkin' to?" Tom replied eyes open once more.

"I don't know…Rocky maybe?" By now Rocky's whimpering had become more persistent, and he was nudging Tom's foot with his nose, seeming to have picked up on the fact that sleeping was the last thing Tom needed to do. "I'm taking you to the hospital," Sebs said with a weighty finality. "We'll have to take your car. Where are the keys?"

"I'unno…"

"Christ, think, Tom. Think, please."

"Well, m'brain's noodly too…m'be that's why I'm s'tired…"

"No, you're tired because you're an idiot who doesn't realize that sleeping pills take some time to work."

"Yer s'mean t'me…"

"No, I'm not. It'd be mean if you didn't deserve it."

Tom didn't reply sharply, but stared back blankly, breathing only looking more difficult for him. "Keys…they're in m'back pocket…I think I'm gonna be sick…" Tom's stomach heaved sharply, and Sebs was ready for the mess, but nothing came. "Dizzy…Sebs, when'd you get here?"

Sebs didn't bother to even humor Tom, and wasted no time reaching down and moving his friend into a sitting position. It had been harder than he'd expected. Tom wasn't the bulkiest of fellows, quite skinny to be honest, but all his pounds felt ten times heavier as Tom adopted a ragdoll posture. Sebs stepped back for a moment to make sure Tom was still conscious. He was, but his neck was not supporting his head so it hung their limply, and Sebs could see that he was already starting to lean forward.

"C'mon, c'mon…stay with me. Not too much longer and then you can go to sleep."

"Y'promise?" Tom asked though his chin still pressed into his chest and he looked like he was talking to his crotch. _Probably the most attention it's gotten in a while_.

"Promise." Sebs moved close to his friend once more, picking him up under the armpits and bringing his to his feet. "Maybe you could help me out a bit," he grumbled as Tom's body pressed limply against him and almost made him stumble backward. Rocky continued to whimper softly, but made no other protests as Sebs carried his owner across the room to the door. Suddenly, he was struck with the fact that Tom had been extremely quiet save for his breathing. "Hey, Tom…Tom you still there?"

"Where?" The mumbled response gave Sebs the boost he needed as he readjusted Tom's body.

"Nowhere…look, can you just keep talking? You stop talking and I'll kick you."

"Why wou'…y'do that? I didn'…do anythin'…" Tom replied pausing every two words to take a breath as if he were running a race he hadn't trained for.

"Because I'm mean."

"Hell yeah…y'are. Jesus…since y'got here…all talkin'…fuck…did you even say hello? I can't 'member…" Sebs let Tom ramble on, allowing him to talk himself in circles and keep himself awake. Still, as he spoke on and on his breaths became more irregular, almost slow and short. Sebs felt his panic starting to overwhelm his relative calm, and it almost felt like acid bubbling just below his heart. It was unpleasant to say the least. Still, he didn't let it bother him too much, and he pulled his friend along, ignoring the stares of the few people who were about at…god, he didn't even know the time anymore. He was so intent on his goal that he was a little surprised when he actually made it to Tom's car. _The shit-mobile_. Well, it was time for it to shine…as much as an old brown car could shine. Sebs rested Tom for a moment against the vehicle.

For a few seconds he thought it might have been easier to have just called an ambulance, but he quickly shook away the thought. Knowing their speed, Tom would have been long gone by the time they would arrive. Yeah, Sebs had this. He knew his way around just as well as any ambulance driver if not better, and he knew more short cuts.

Tom hadn't been lying about his keys being in his back pocket, and even though he'd been the one to give away their location he clearly didn't remember and let loose a string of curses and complaints. Sebs just nodded and told him to "go on" before unlocking the door and pushing his friend inside, in as careful a way as possible of course. Getting into the driver's seat, he looked over at Tom who seemed beside himself and woozy.

"Hey, it's almost over. You'll be back on your feet in no time," Sebs grinned, trying desperately to improve Tom's mood and his own.

Tom turned to look back, his anger fading for a moment and giving way to an almost tangible melancholy. "Oh, Sebs…I…wouldn't…make such…lofty statements…just yet…You don' know…you can'tell…I could go stone cold…right here. Don'…lie t'me…I hate it when y'lie…" The pair stared at each other for a moment, before Sebs turned away. He hated it when Tom was right.

Somewhere in between Tom's apartment and the hospital the senseless chatter coming from the passenger seat ceased. Sebs didn't need to look to know that Tom was out cold, but he looked anyway. The other man's features were slack, movement minimal if at all. Thoughts of trying to rouse him passed without direction through Sebs' mind, but he knew that would be useless at this point. Without a second thought he stepped on the gas and felt the car lurch forward with the sudden action. This was no time to lose his cool Sebs reminded himself. This was a time to react. Step on the gas even more if that was possible. Move on past the idiots on the road and their ridiculously slow pace. _Out of my way. Out of my way._

From the car to the ER the haze of purpose continued. Sebs wasn't sure how he managed it, but he pulled his friend's dead weight into the large building, ignored the curious stares once more though this time from a different crowd of people, said something to the first person in scrubs that he saw, handed the same person the pills he'd confiscated from Tom's bathroom, and watched as his friend was taken away as he stood there feeling numb and exhausted. As his senses returned so did his nerves, and soon he was pacing about the waiting room unable to sit still from nerves. Every so often he would stop and look at one of the chairs, contemplate sitting in it but then choose not to in favor of pacing back and forth. Back and forth.

"Man, you're awful jittery," a man who Sebs had passed several times finally said. He looked a fair amount older than him, but the dumb expression on his face made Sebs feel somehow more mature. Sebs ignored him and sat down in one of the plastic, cushioned, chairs trying to clear his mind. "Jeez…you look like you done seen a ghost." _I very well might have._ "So, who was that?" It was becoming increasingly more apparent that this man wasn't going to stop interrogating him so Sebs turned his head, but his face gave away nothing. It was smooth and emotionless. His emotions were a jumble inside him, and he didn't have the energy to look annoyed. Why did this guy give a damn anyway?

"A friend of mine. He's not feeling too well," he replied flatly making his answer intentionally vague. Enough to be an answer, but tight lipped enough to hint at the fact that he had no interest in speaking. However, the older man seemed to ponder his answer for longer than Sebs would have liked, and against his better judgment he spoke up. "What?"

"Oh nothing," the man replied seemingly mimicking Sebs' uninterested tone. Had it been any other day Sebs would have called him out on it, but his mind was elsewhere. "You just seem tense. You're really worried aren't you?"

"No shit I'm worried!" Sebs snapped at the other man. He bit his tongue and looked down in embarrassment as he realized that had been loud enough for the other occupants of the room to hear. "Sorry…that wasn't meant for you. I'm just...why am I telling you?" Sebs breathed out slowly and turned his eyes to the other man who still seemed thoughtful and unperturbed by his little outburst.

"Maybe because you want to just tell someone about it?" Sebs shot the older man a half-hearted glare, but he knew that he wasn't fooling anyone. Well, not this guy anyway. Leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees Sebs simply shrugged. "Hm…well, that's what I think anyway," the man continued with a familiar certainty. He sounded just like Tom when he was sure of something. "Did I say something wrong?"

Sebs shook his head only then realizing that his face had let a small frown pass through the barrier. "No, I'm just thinking."

"About your friend?"

_Damn, this guy just won't drop it will he?_ Sebs straightened up and returned to his emotionless staring contest. "Yes, I am. I'm thinking about my friend who's drifting somewhere in between here and nowhere. Last time I saw him he was talking nonsense and then he was silent. He sounded like his lungs were deflating, and he could hardly remember one moment from the others. I'm worried because I'd love it if he weren't dead. I'm worried. I'm fucking worried. You happy?" Sebs did not raise his voice as he spoke, but the desire to do so was there, and pushing it down felt like choking.

"Feeling any better?"

Sebs wanted to punch this guy now. Feeling better? Feeling BETTER? Is that really all he had to say? Sebs wanted to retort with a sharp _"No"_, but he knew better than that. He could hear the sincerity in the man's question, and the man was staring at him in an eerily perceptive way. _Just like Tom._

"Yeah, a bit," he sighed. He went back to digging his elbows into his knees, and he heard the older man stand up, but he didn't bother looking up; hoping that he was finally going to be left alone.

"I'm glad I could help." Sebs felt the man pat his shoulder lightly, and he grit his teeth, not appreciating the closeness this man was trying to establish with him. Finally the man left, but not until after he placed something on the arm of the chair that Sebs sat in.

He waited until he was certain the man had left through the automatic sliding doors before picking up his head to see what sort of thing the stranger had left. It was a little business card and Sebs picked it up noticing that it was on really nice paper before he even bothered to read what was on it, but he knew it was a business card. He'd been handed plenty of them before. When he had read it he wished he hadn't.

"A psychiatrist…fantastic. I do seem crazy," he grumbled turning the card over in his hand. He wanted to crumple it up, but he liked how the paper felt, and it gave him something to think about other than the matter at hand.

Sebs figured he must have zoned out because suddenly he heard his name being called. His first reaction was to look at the clock, but before he could register how long he'd been sitting there his name was called again, and he looked over at the doctor who was addressing him. He stood up and almost reached down to grab his coat before realizing it wasn't there. He must have left it at Tom's place. He hadn't even noticed that he'd taken it off. Slowly he walked over to the doctor, avoiding the gaze of some of the other people in the waiting room by focusing on the assorted charts of human anatomy on the walls.

"Are you Mr. Favreaux?" the doctor or nurse, Sebs wasn't in the mood to figure it out, asked even though he knew it was probably a stupid question. _A very stupid question._ Who else would he be? No one else had gotten up or even moved.

"Yes," he replied humoring the woman. He knew the steps to this kind of interaction by heart. "You have news for me I assume?"

"You're Mr. McKnight's friend, yes?" Sebs nodded. It sounded so weird to hear someone refer to Tom by his last name. It seemed too formal for his liking, but he let the feeling pass. "Yes, well, he's stable now. Resting, but you can see him now if you want to. We'll be keeping him overnight to monitor him, but he's doing well."

"Thank you," Sebs replied feeling himself release the breath he'd been unconsciously holding. "And yes, I'd like to see him."

"Alright, just follow me," the woman replied with an overtly polite tone. She started walking away, and Sebs was about to follow her when he remembered the business card that he was still clinging to. He looked at it once more before throwing it out in the nearest trash bin and taking longer strides to catch up with the nurse, doctor, whoever, listening quietly as she went into more detail concerning his friend's current condition. Sebs really didn't care. He was just glad Tom was still around.

When they got to the room, it was one of those rooms that had two people in it (Sebs felt a little bad for the other guy, but luckily he appeared to be asleep); Sebs spotted Tom looking quite…beside himself. His arms were crossed, and he was glaring at his feet. He didn't even look up at his friend until he was right in front of him. His eyes were a bit glazed over, he was probably tired, but the awareness he'd been lacking earlier had returned.

"Hey, Tom…" Sebs ventured, repeating his casual greeting from before. He could feel his voice wavering, and he wished it wasn't. Tom was sure to pick up on it, even in his seemingly subdued state. Not moving his head, it was still angled at his feet; he looked up into Sebs' eyes, the haziness in his gaze disappearing momentarily.

"What is it?" he replied with an eerie calmness. It made Sebs' skin crawl and anger start to boil beneath the surface. _What was it?_ Tom knew exactly what it was! To have him treat this situation with such levity made Sebs want to scream, but he swallowed the urge for now. Right now he was treading on very thin ice. Time spent with Tom had very few advantages other than a good amount of goofing around. Knowing when he was pissed at you was one of the few, and right about now Tom was very much pissed. Sebs couldn't even fathom what was getting to him now. As far as he was concerned Tom should have been ecstatic. Perhaps even grateful. He just looked like he was thinking.

"Tom, you know what this is," Sebs said calmly. Tom's face remained stoic and unmoved. It wasn't right or natural, and Sebs wished that something would disrupt it. Make it more real and less static. "You tried to kill yourself." It sounded so odd out loud. Final and yet not quite right. Tom held his gaze for a few more moments before looking over at his sleeping roommate.

"I just took too many pills. It was an accident." Tom had put on his "rational voice", and Sebs tensed. He's being treated like a child in this situation when Tom was the one who needed the help. Sebs wasn't the one who almost died. _Fuck, he almost died, and here he is. Staring off into space and treating this as if he only had a cold. It's not right._

"Don't give me that. Look at me, and tell me what the fuck happened just now," Sebs said, though this time with more firmness. If Tom wanted to avoid this, he was going to have to try harder. Be more forceful. Sebs had been on a mission since he got the phone call, and a little stubbornness wasn't getting in his way now. Not now that he's invested so much time. Not now that he'd invested so much, god forbid, feeling. "You tried to _kill _yourself," he repeated, emphasizing the word kill as if it was the last thing he'd ever say.

Tom fidgeted and didn't look up at Sebs right away. _He's nervous. Good. This should bother him._ However, when Tom looked up, his composure was back.

"So what if I did?" he retorted. Sebs winced. There was venom dripping from every word even if Tom's face didn't show it. "What if I did, Sebs? Offed myself…what would you do?" Tom smirked. It was confident…somewhat playful. His expression was amused, but there was challenge in his eyes. Testing, poking, prodding. Even after this incident he was the one trying to call the shots. It was driving Sebs out of is mind. _Out of his mind,_ what a horrible phrase for the situation.

"Tom, you shit head, you tried to fucking kill yourself!" Sebs repeated as if saying it a third time will make Tom's smirk fade away. It didn't so he continued, not even caring that the man in the other bed was starting to stir. Tom had hit a tender area, and Sebs was reacting. "I found you, and you were half gone already. If you hadn't called I wouldn't have found you later. I would have found a fucking corpse! A corpse, Tom! Stone cold. You want that? You wanna be a corpse? You wanna be dead? Stupid bastard…what the hell were you thinking? You momentarily lose all your happy thoughts? What? Tell me!"

Tom's amusement only became more apparent as Sebs went on. Not much riled him up, but that grin…that fucking, toothy, challenging, smirk. It was the nail in the coffin. "I saved you're fucking life you ungrateful, little fucktard! If I hadn't been there you would have died you stupid fucker. I saved you!" Sebs growls, any ideas of keeping his cool leaving him. Tom's victory died on his face, and his friend felt his own victory under his skin. He had gotten to him. He'd bothered Tom. Tom turned his head, half burying it in his pillow.

"I didn't ask you to save me…" he forced out, and the words seemed painful to him. Sebs felt his brief victory fade away as he saw how red Tom's eyes had become. He wasn't crying, but his eyes were screaming for him to. He hadn't been calm. He hadn't been collected. He'd only been putting on a very good show. Sebs certainly hadn't been able to tell.

"Tom…I didn't mean it to come out like that," Sebs began, but Tom clapped his hands over his ears, or rather, one hand over his exposed ear at the other one was still mashed up against the pillow.

"Maybe I didn't want to be saved. You ever think of that?" Tom continued, picking up his head and returning his attention to Sebs. He didn't sit up fully, but Sebs could tell he wanted to. Something must have been physically bothering him along with what was emotionally bothering him. Sebs wouldn't have been surprised. Of all the possible ailments, he figured Tom's stomach must have been tied up in knots. "And you still didn't answer my question. You didn't tell me what you'd do…you know, if I did die." Sebs wasn't the only one feeling determined, as fate would have it. Despite his apparent weariness, Tom's fight instinct was on full blast, and if he was going to survive it Sebs was going to have to come out with something quick.

"If you died I don't know what I'd do," he replied, eying Tom as evenly as he could, but his friend's glare had only become more clear. More intelligent. More unsettling.

"What a mundane answer," Tom pouted. "What movie did you get that one-liner from?" Sebs could see that Tom wasn't buying his admittedly piss-poor, cop-out, answer. Sebs could do better, and Tom wanted to hear it even if it meant bending Sebs even closer to breaking, and he was doing a damn good job of it too. Sebs didn't have a quick answer, and he felt Tom's eyes on him. Waiting for something more satisfying than Sebs' mounting anxiety to take in.

"And what sort of answer were you expecting?" Sebs frowned; his shoulders sagging as his exhaustion finally hit him. "You think I plan for stuff like this? You think I expect you to drop dead at a moments notice?" Tom didn't even flinch. "I don't. I expect you to be around. I expect to not have to deal with this kind of shit because you know what? I don't want you to be dead. I don't think about it. I want you to be around, and if you don't want yourself around…" Sebs paused to draw in as even a breath as he could, but he couldn't stop the air from shaking in him as he attempted to control himself. He always felt e sounded like a child when he was upset. Carefully, he continued, "Tom, don't try to pull that shit on me again, or I'll kill you myself. So help me god."

And there it was. A smile. Tom was baring his teeth, which was pretty much the only way he knew how to smile with teeth. He looked so clam and satisfied, and Sebs could feel himself darn near close to slugging him. He'd just exposed a weak side of himself to his friend, and all his friend could do was look at him with a look that was used for claiming one's winnings. Whatever Tom had wanted in an answer he had gotten from Sebs' little whatever it was.

"Thanks. I was hoping you'd say something like that."

"Like what?"

"Real. This was all feeling kind of fake until then."

Sebs tried to read Tom's face, but his friend's expression was muddled. He was smiling, but there was something not right about it that Sebs could not put his finger on. Well, if nothing else Tom seemed calm for real this time. Not just a deception, but actually calm.

"I guess…you're welcome," Sebs sighed, not wanting to ruin the moment. If Tom wanted to be calm so be it. It was uncomfortable, but it was definitely easier than dealing with agitated Tom. At this point Sebs was all for easier. He could try getting through that thick skull of his friend's another time. He was running on empty. No longer wanting to look at Tom he stared out the window. It had gotten dark even with the city lights, and he couldn't help but feel like the scene was all too appropriate. _Lights are on, but the darkness is persistent. Hard to kill._

"You can go now if you want to," Tom suddenly announced. Sebs turned to look at him, and Tom was giving him one of those sympathetic looks. It was almost like he was going to apologize, but Sebs could tell he wasn't going to. "Besides, I'm tired."

"Alright, I'll come back tomorrow. I have your car anyway."

"I'll look out for you."

"You sure you don't want me to hang around a little longer?"

Tom nodded, but he was looking at his feet while not looking at them specifically again. Sebs wanted to be angry with him, but he was just relieved. There were going to be a lot of questions in the near future, but for now this was enough. For now it was just good enough to see him there, and no longer on death's door. It was good to have Tom alive and some version of well.

Sebs had started to head out when he noticed the roommate was watching him, a look of subdued awe on his face.

"Is he your friend?" the man stage-whispered.

Sebs looked over at Tom who was staring out the window now seeming happily distracted, and at ease. "Yeah," Sebs replied not looking at the other man. "Unfortunately."


End file.
